Final Post of the Year #Peak65 Edition: In Praise of Attrition
I can’t begin to tell you how delighted I am that we’ve done a full year of weekly posts for Madrina Molly™! Have you laughed? Have you learned? I know I have. Welcome to our final post of the year before we take a holiday hiatus, and I celebrate my early January #Peak65 birthday with the Hubs, Col. Mustard. We’re headed to Quebec City and Montreal for a fancy, foodie few days. It’s his birthday celebration too. Just not #Peak65. He has to wait his turn.
Hurricane Jackie (Mom) and I have a running joke that, “If you live long enough, anything becomes possible.” If you ask her, she was not a thin, athletic, or a particularly pretty younger woman. Sure enough, as she has aged and I have aged along with her, we find that things once completely alien to us are reflected by the regard of those around us. For having outlasted her peers, she’s thin, athletic (mobile and independent), smart, and pretty!
Of course, I’ve been hearing, “Your mother is amazing” for years and years. It comes from relatives, her neighbors, and pretty much everyone who encounters her. Suffice it to say that I’m used to it. If she wasn’t always amazing (she probably was), she certainly is now.
Now that she has adopted technology to communicate with her grandchildren (and me), she inspires awe from everyone who has met her or heard of her.
Now that she has almost a century of perspective on history and politics, she is a source of rational explanation for current events.
Now that she still has her wits about her and manages her own checkbook, she’s downright brilliant.
And now, with her hair permed and her outfit, jewelry, and makeup done for her weekly bridge game, she has become a striking older woman.
It just goes to show you that it’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.
Women become invisible to marketing, media, and their first husbands in their 50s. A lot of coverage goes into admonishing foolish employers who knowingly leak talent by sidelining and underutilizing older employees, particularly women. And don’t get me started on women who want to re-enter the world after launching children and before minding their parents. I became invisible in my 50s too. And the casual disregard for my knowledge, experience, and talent was infuriating. I sucked it up until I decided not to suck it up anymore. And long story short, here I am today.
Except, something different is happening now. Something not invisible. As a young woman, I was never thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough (or too smart in certain company), wealthy enough, or athletic enough. Recently, I’m the one who’s being told that I’m “amazing.” And it is happening with greater frequency.
When I tell people about my decision not to retire, to create Madrina Molly™, to invest actively in my health and skills; to make a project of myself and my next 30 years—to think thanatologically and not chronologically—they have begun to regard me in the same way they do Hurricane Jackie.
Yes, I lift, swim, walk, never miss an appointment with my aesthetician, eat carefully. Yes, I am constantly reading the latest on longevity, financial planning, and world affairs. No, I’m not going to break any records, nor will I win a MacArthur Award. But simply by having the reputation for continuing to engage in doing “the work,” I get the credit. And the more I stick with the process, the more credit I get.
Holy shit. That’s the real secret.
It’s not to outwork anyone. The secret is to outlast everyone. All you have to do to become amazing is to keep showing up—to keep being your own project.
Yes, you are likely to become invisible for a time. But I no longer think it’s productive to rail against ageism and misogyny. It’s a waste of energy. I’d rather succeed despite it. I think of that phase now as a chrysalis—my 50s as a cocoon—preparing me to become a butterfly. And, if I stay in the game, as I intend to, I get to remain amazing and brilliantly colorful for the rest of my life. The more others fall off, the more amazing I will become.
Attrition is the secret weapon. All we have to do is stay in the game. Don’t leave the field of play prematurely. Don’t be in a rush to pull the plug. Thirty years is a long time. Trust me on this. Invest in yourself. #NotYoungNotDone #WeRescueOurselves
If you want to learn more or have questions for me about your finances, become a subscription member of Financial & Longevity Planning in the Madrina Molly™ Community. If you’d like the company of other Women of a Certain Age(ncy), join our free Shared Wisdom discussions or take individual courses.
We may be a little slow on the ramp-up for 2025. Thanks in advance for your patience as we incorporate the input of our new Fractional CMO, @SherehanRoss. We’re excited by her boundless energy and knowledge. And we can’t wait to invest in ourselves with her input.
Copyright © Madrina Molly, LLC 2024. All rights reserved.
The information contained herein and shared by Madrina Molly™ constitutes financial education and not investment or financial advice.
Sherry Finkel Murphy, CFP®, RICP®, ChFC®, is the Founder and CEO of Madrina Molly, LLC.
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I can’t begin to tell you how delighted I am that we’ve done a full year of weekly posts for Madrina Molly™! Have you laughed? Have you learned? I know I have. Welcome to our final post of the year before we take a holiday hiatus, and I celebrate my early January #Peak65 birthday with the Hubs, Col. Mustard. We’re headed to Quebec City and Montreal for a fancy, foodie few days. It’s his birthday celebration too. Just not #Peak65. He has to wait his turn.
Hurricane Jackie (Mom) and I have a running joke that, “If you live long enough, anything becomes possible.” If you ask her, she was not a thin, athletic, or a particularly pretty younger woman. Sure enough, as she has aged and I have aged along with her, we find that things once completely alien to us are reflected by the regard of those around us. For having outlasted her peers, she’s thin, athletic (mobile and independent), smart, and pretty!