As I wait for the clock to tick down on being able to mention the word “money,” it’s fun to do a brain dump of some of the wisdom I’ve accumulated from earlier careers.

I was thinking about the trajectory of my “sales” career (it’s in quotes because I’m more of a “service” vs. “sales” person) and the secrets of my success. Of course, there are no secrets, really, there’s only practice. But to be successful in any kind of client acquisition, it helps to hack the status quo or the “way it’s always been done” when scheduling networking meetings.

I’m a functional introvert. Crowded rooms with lots of conversations going on over my head (literally, I’m short) exhaust me. My great love is to sit with a few friends, old or new, curled up on an overstuffed sofa or parked at a kitchen/diner table. Added to that, I’m not a cocktail person. I’m not even a mocktail person (although holding a pretty glass makes me happy). I do my best work meeting people one-on-one or a few at a time over “a cuppa Joe.”  And for me, the best time to do that work is the first appointment of the morning.

Back when I began my sales career, client expectations for big-ticket items (e.g., $250K+ per purchase order) included meals and, occasionally, entertainment (golf and other “things”). I discovered that many of my male clients were both uncomfortable with me playing off the ladies’ tee and picking up a dinner tab. What’s more, alcohol made some prospects (ahem) disrespectful. (I have a decades of #metoo stories. Let’s not go there.) So, what was I to do?

I finally realized that a hotel breakfast was the answer to my prayers: fancy enough that my prospects/clients felt feted, but never inclusive of alcohol. As a bonus, breakfast meetings stayed on the calendar, as work crises had not yet arisen that would cause my meeting to be canceled at the last minute. Usually, cancellations mount as the day goes on and the proverbial s**t hits the fan.

I did not, by the way, start out with this brilliant plan. I started by bringing bagels and coffee to my prospects in their offices. But the first World Trade Center bombing in 1993 changed the rules of building security forever, and I could no longer talk my way into NYC skyscrapers. More planning would be necessary to get face time.

Years later, my talent for conducting business over breakfast meetings proved to be tremendously helpful when I found myself leading and coaching teams of sales representatives, some of whom were 12-Steppers. They were relieved when I told them I expected to approve expense reports that included breakfasts and not cocktails or dinners. And I know, based on their subsequent success, that it became the go-to of their sales careers as well.

My goal during any networking meeting was simple: Understand enough about my prospect to know what they wanted in that moment and help them get it.

As far as networking, I’m proud to say I NEVER did volume cold calls, although I did occasionally call “on behalf” of a visiting thought leader or executive to set meetings for them that fit within the timeframe of their visit.

My goal during any networking meeting was simple: Understand enough about my prospect to know what they wanted in that moment and help them get it. Without expectation, I would first offer to help my client/prospect--whether male or female--in business or personally. Then, in the last 10 minutes of our meeting, I would share what I do, how I do it, and identify my ideal client. At that point, they’d usually choose to opt in or refer me to someone who was a match.

The magic in that kind of networking is that I wasn’t putting any pressure on them as the target of my prospecting, yet I was able to clearly articulate who I wanted to work with, confident that the laws of attraction would bring them to me.

The most important part was–and is--making a specific ask regarding my ideal client or opportunity. If I expected to get what I wanted, I couldn’t just ask for something that was only “in the neighborhood” of the ask. I needed to #Askforbigthings. (Sidebar: When I became exhausted from dating the second time around, I journaled that, “I just want someone who can be in charge, so I don’t have to be in charge of everything!” Be careful what you ask for. The universe sent me a U.S. Army Colonel.)

Whether mentoring, selling or interviewing, I think it’s important to enter the room with a specific “ask.” Even when I am the giver, these days I never fail to make an ask of my prospects, clients, proteges and ambassadors. Sometimes, my ask is that they develop an ask of their own and get back to me. I can’t count how many times over the years an email was waiting for me by the time I returned to my desk, that my breakfast date had either opted in for another meeting or provided me with a contact.

Some of the women reading this might be younger than my WOACA audience. You might have kids at home. I know how hard it is to get out the door to a meeting or appointment first thing because the kids must come first. But, getting the kids out the door is a life skill, not a gender role. We fall into them (gender roles) in our relationships, but it’s my duty to remind you they’re not written in stone. 

By negotiation, they can be changed. And if there’s one day a week you want to set aside for a networking breakfast or coffee, I encourage you to ask your partner to get the kids out the door. Ultimately, your success and satisfaction benefit the whole family. Another variation on this: if you’re truly not able to get out the door, invite someone over for a morning cup of coffee in your kitchen.  Of course, that requires staging the room to present exactly the impression you choose to make.

Give it a shot, and I look forward to hearing your breakfast meeting results. #WeRescueOurselves

The information contained herein and shared by Madrina Molly™ constitutes education and not investment advice.